HOW MY PAST LIFE MADE ME TO CHASE MY DREAM NOW

Disclaimer: It’s been about two years since I last blogged so this is going to be a surprise comeback. 

HOW MY PAST LIFE MADE ME TO CHASE MY DREAM NOW

          My story begins with the way I perceived life. It was always about studies initially. I grew up with the typical conservative parents who put a lot of emphasis on academics. It was always about scoring straight A’s and nothing else matters (like the song from Metallica, haha). When I was a kid in primary school, the only thing I cared about was my studies because if I scored anything less than an A, my mother would have scolded me. Either than that, I watched a bit of cartoons and surfed the internet for more cartoons. Seems like a pretty decent childhood. The only stress I had at that time was pleasing my parents and teachers by doing well in studies. I had a few friends in school and we did not have much arguments or problems back then. I did complain about the amount of homework we had. But overall, life was simple. 

          High school however was a different story. I became more introverted and more reserved than I was before. Part of it was due to my environment. My class was torn into two main factions. There was the extroverted and athletic faction. These group of students were loud and arrogant. Many of them were smart in academics but were very cocky. They believed themselves to be the ‘kings’ of the school, being able to do whatever they want simply because they were brighter and had more influence over our peers. Some of the teachers ‘adored’ them because they were either sons of successful people or simply because they were more noticeably by their boisterous acts. Then there was the introverted and less athletic faction. They were more silent and we were not as open as everyone else. Guess where I fell into? ... Bingo! The introverted group. Now, here was what happened. Many a times, the extroverted group would bully the introverted group, simply because they were different. I did not really have a specific group of friends because I was strictly neutral, meaning I treated everyone equally with respect. However, that did not exclude me from getting bullied. I was mocked, scoffed, insulted, ostracized, and tempted to do things I did not want to do. Basically, it can be summarized as psychological bullying. I was ostracized and criticized to the core for no good reason either than because I was different. They would criticize me for talking to the less popular group, and they would give me a sour face whenever I needed to communicate with them for something important. I had done absolutely nothing wrong to harm them yet they treated me this way. The teachers never helped, and sometimes sided with them instead.

          My academics began to slip because I lost interest in studying, or worse yet, simply lost the interest in living. Whenever I tried to tell my parents about my issues, they would say this is normal and tell me to just ignore it. When I did poorly in studies, my parents would compare me with the smarter and extroverted students and tell me why can’t I be like them, even though I hated their personality to the max. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate them, I only hated their personality because I can never truly hate someone as holding a grudge will consume me from the inside. It will lead to more misery. Funny how in the first class, we would expect everyone to be mature and respectful. Quite the contrary really. It was horrible to socialize in my class.  

          Form three was a turning point for me. I was determined to be successful regardless of anything. Though I was an average student as compared to the rest, I did my best whenever I can. This continued on till I finished high school. My reason for this was to prove my peers that I was not an idiot, and I can be successful too. Though, I did maintain my strict neutrality to everyone. As a result of this I was not able to make close bonds with anyone. What made it worse was that my fear of socializing lingered on. This fear, combined with my introverted personality made it extremely difficult to socialize. I always felt like everyone out there wanted to criticize me, and sometimes I felt like I never belonged anywhere. I had very little emotional support. Most of it came from my church members. But either than that, I was quite a loner. 

          I continued to study hard while ignoring whatever that comes in my way. It was not easy. Eventually, I would finish high school and I wanted to start fresh again. My results were average, so I could not quality to study Medicine later on. Hence, I decided to study Biomedical Science after I complete Foundation in Science. And if all goes well, I hope to still study Medicine as my post graduate degree. The past events in which I was mocked by others has shaped me to be determine to prove them wrong. One day, they will see me with the title Dr. They will finally respect me for the person I will become. And they will no longer see me as a complete loser who can’t achieve anything in life. I will prove them wrong. 

I will be spending the next four years studying here. Hopefully I will survive.

MYF CAMP 2017

MYF CAMP 2017

     This year, the Taiping Wesley Methodist Youth Fellowship Annual Camp was held in Seagull Resort, Pangkor Island with a total of 27 campers. Out of the 27 campers, 17 of them were MYFers from the English congregation, seven of them were MYFers from the BM congregation, three were guests, two were our counsellors and one was our speaker. Our journey started from the old Changkat Jering – Sri Manjung Road which lasted for about two hours. During the journey we caught a glimpse of the Manjung River, which was incredibly huge as it was able to allow large cargo ships and fishing boats to pass through. We made our way to Sitiawan, and finally Lumut where we waited for the ferry. The ride on the ferry was quite smooth and fast as it cut through the water like a hot knife through butter. After we reached Pangkor Island, we boarded some taxis and headed to Seagull Resort, checked in and hence our camp began.

     The speaker of the camp was a thirty-two year old senior youth by the name of Chin Fung Hao from Wesley Methodist Church, Ipoh. Our theme was a simple one yet it struck a chord in our hearts and left us pondering about the depths of our faith. It was ‘Growing in Christ’, the basics of a God-fearing Christian youth. In our first session, Fung Hao started with the topic ‘A Relationship with God’, that is how we start a relationship with God and how do we continue to build that relationship followed by what should our relationship be based on. A relationship starts with an introduction between two individuals, and is built on constant communication and must be based on a solid foundation. As God is our heavenly father, he breathed the breath of life onto us; it is our duty to know who God really is as introduced in the bible, the word of God. From then onwards, we communicate with him, through prayer, meditation and worship. We learned to be a person after God’s heart, as David was from the days of his youth towards his days as king of Israel till his deathbed. The foundation of our relationship with God must be based on love, for it is written in John 3:16 that ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life’. We love God because God loved us first. The biggest sacrifice for someone is one’s own life, and that is how God loves us, through the sacrifice of his only begotten son Jesus Christ. Despite all he has done for us, we tend to take it for granted so we must change this behaviour by willing to give up something that is almost as precious as life, which is time. Time spent with God will allow us to get closer with him, to let him speak to you and guide you through the work of the Holy Spirit. This is just a summary of what Fung Hao had to share for us.

     The second day, Fung Hao shared about the importance of prayer as a prerequisite of a Christian’s daily life. Prayer is essential. It is more than just asking for what we want from God. It can be merely talking to God, just as how a child talks to his father, we are talking to our father in heaven when we pray. For example, a prayer of thanksgiving describes how we converse with God by thanking him for the blessings through his grace and mercy. With regards to thanksgiving, Fung Hao shared a short testimony when he was struggling during his last year in university whereby he thanked God for giving him the perseverance to study and pass his final examinations despite this being his third attempt. Thanking the Lord in our prayers shows a two-way communication with God as we show the appreciation we have for him and that he speaks to us as he continues to shower his love upon us in his perfect plans. Another common prayer we say is the prayer of praise which shows our recognition and acknowledgment of the greatness and wonders of the living God, often times said through hymns and songs. David, who wrote most of the psalms, described God’s wonders in the most profound ways, calling our Lord as the Rock from whom we take refuge for he is our fortress and deliverer (Psalm 18). He also praises God for his mighty powers as he could shake mountains, cast lightning and expose the valleys of the sea. This praise that we shout is a reminder in our prayers that only God Almighty can do such great things. However, David also warned us in Psalm 17:1 that our prayers must be honest because they cannot come from deceitful lips so that God will give ear to our righteous plea. We must not lie in our prayers, and we must fully trust in God. We must be in full honesty and humbleness (Matthew 23:12) when we pray because blessed are the meek (Matthew 5:5) and poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3). Matthew 7:7 states that by asking for God what we want, he will give it to us so this shows that prayer helps to grant us the desires our heart provided we follow God’s instructions (Psalm 37:4) and it is according to his will (Psalm 138:8).

     On the third day, we learned about the anointing of God. As written in the first book of Samuel, the anointing of David as the second king of Israel did not start from a bed of roses. The story of a shepherd boy turned soldier and eventually turned king certainly inspired the hearts of us youths. David’s ascension to the throne had taught us that even though we may not be in a highly respected position, we still have a chance to shine in accordance to God’s plan. When we think about the anointing of God, often times many of us can’t be sure of what it is exactly. Usually, we look for signs of what his anointing really is, normally when we are in desperate need for God’s help. This however, contrasts what the bible taught us in matters of our faith, as it is written that faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). So, from a strong faith we are able to trust in God more, and understand his anointing better. God has anointed us for different purposes though we may not understand or favour it, but we must bear in mind that the plans in his anointing are to prosper us and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). We should know that whatever challenges we may face are to test our faith and thoughts, so that we will learn to rely on his strength to bring ourselves closer to his anointing and not be led astray. David set a great example during his battle with Goliath as he showed that he relied in God’s strength and not his own when he said “it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s and he will give all of you into our hands,” (1 Samuel 17:47). Towards the end of this session, Fung Hao shared a song of Psalm 23. We hope to learn it and sing it more often in church.

     As for our fun-filled activities throughout the camp, all the campers had the time of their lives! Uncle Terence had organised the ‘Amazing Race’ across Pangkor Island which tested our endurance to the maximum. We had to write down answers to the set of questionnaires while following the map. Questions such as the name of the person who launched the Jetty Terminal, the number of stamps required to mail a letter and taxi fares were asked. The longest journey was from the town to the Dutch Fort. After that, we continued our journey to a beach located across a jungle trek. This beach was rather clean and free from resorts which would explain the high population of jellyfish larvae. Many of us who took a dip in the sea experienced minor stinging sensations and itchiness due to those jellyfish larvae. Thank God no one had any allergies to the stings. Other games were fun too. Our game master Joshua Eudes, was brilliant in organising each game. The best game was the one that involved collecting balloons floating on the sea and bursting them at the shore. The other two games were balancing a basin of water with our feet, and catching water balloons. Although, there were some who were injured and got sick. First aider Wong Meng Yew was always busy dispensing medicine, plasters and treating cramps. For our praise and worship enablers, we had an ever so committed team of musicians. They were Jason, Joshua, Meng Yew, Huey Anne on guitars, Ruth on ukulele, and Sarah on keyboards. All of them played wonderfully to glory the name of our Lord.

     Overall, I thank God for this awesome experience. Indeed, MYF Camp is a time to bond with each other and to participate as a community in Christ’s name. Even though many of us seniors will depart from Taiping in the time to come, I truly hope that we will never forget this camp and all the memories in MYF. To the next batch of youths, I highly recommend you guys to join the MYF Camp next year. You guys will learn the meaning of remembering your Creator in the days of your youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1). 

 Manjung River seen from the bridge.

 The ferry that took us to Pangkor Island.

 The chapel in the resort where we had our bible sessions.

Two lassies and a lad. 

Green Group

Family in Christ.

A TRIP TO THE HILLS

 A TRIP TO THE HILLS

          In John 1:3, ‘Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.’ Admiring the beauty of nature created by The Lord was what the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) of Wesley Taiping did as we held an outing to Bukit Larut on the 28^th of May. A group of 17 youths including those from the Bahasa Malaysia congregation joined in the journey to reach the top of the hills. We gathered at the entrance for a quick briefing before we crammed into the jeeps for a speedy ride on the steep and windy road. The jeeps, if I recall were the Land Rover Defender models, had growled with a roar while they rode across the terrain. Thankfully, none felt sick or nauseated throughout the journey.

          Our ride on the jeeps stopped at about 1036 meters above sea level. There was a rest house that faced the magnificent view of Taiping. There, we met Aunty Suet Fun, our speaker for the day who gave us a brief history of Bukit Larut. Apparently Bukit, known back then as Maxwell Hill, started as a retreat area for the local British residents in the year 1884. This newly discovered hill station was named after William Edward Maxwell, the British Resident of Perak who was very well versed with the local customs of the Malays. While we youths get to enjoy a fast ride up the hill, visitors those days had to walk, ride a pony, or be carried on sedan chairs. There were a few economic activities carried out during the colonial years. A Tea Garden was started and was operated mainly by Indian labourers. However the project failed due to Taiping’s damp weather, and eventually moved to Cameron Highlands. Kettles were brought up to the hill to supply milk for tea when the Tea Garden was still operating. There is a playground, and there was also a primary school to cater the children of the labourers. There is an old bungalow at the top of the hill known as The Nest which served as a home for the early Methodist missionaries in Taiping. 

           Those who climbed on to the watchtower could see the mouth of the rivers as they open to the straits of Malacca at the edge of the peninsular. Lush greenery can be seen along the slopes of the hill as well as the land that stretched from the Air Kuning reservoir to Assam Kumbang area. We proceeded with a session of praise and worship, vocals-only style, led by Sherlyn. Bonding among each other in one voice to praise The Lord, without the aid of instruments truly was a great experience. Some games were organized by Joshua to continue the process of fellowship. We helped ourselves to some sandwiches prepared by Aunty Jacey while we enjoyed the cool breezy air.

           The next challenge was to hike up to the Nest bungalow. As this time we were no longer dependent on jeeps, it was a work out for our legs. The surreal sound of monkeys yelling to each other, crickets chirping loudly near the trees, and birds singing filled the atmosphere. There were some large granite rocks and tall fern trees along the road. While going up the hill was not too much of a challenge, staying together was. Many MYFers walked with a different pace so we ended splitting up. We stopped at a small hut near the Biology Centre to catch our breath before we continued the walk at a short jungle trek. This time, it was relatively dark as there were many trees and bushes that covered most of the sunlight and the jungle trek was parallel to a steep ravine. We even caught the sight of a trilobite beetle, an oddly prehistoric looking insect which has the resemblance to a horseshoe crab .As we finally came out of the dark path, we were only a few steps away from the Nest.

         

          We were greeted by an elderly couple as we set foot on the Nest. However there were some MYFers who had some unwanted visitors attached to them, and they were leeches of course! Fortunately, one of us brought salt for the exact situation. On the bright sight, we could see sunbirds sucking nectar from the flowers and butterflies fluttering around. If one looks in front, the view of Taiping can be seen, if one looks at the back, more hills can be seen instead. One of the guests at the Nest, was a young Sports Science lecturer, had his ways of catching some of the wildlife. He showed us a baby snake trapped inside a jar and a small stag beetle if I’m not mistaken.

          After lunch, we left for the biggest challenge of the day, hiking all the way down to the bottom. This three hour journey was the ultimate test of strength. Walking on the road was a challenge, but I’m quite the MYFers changed their minds when we reached the jungle trek which led to the foot of the hill. The trail was very steep, and each step had to be taken with caution. One slight slip and we could fall off the trail. Trees helped provide support and rope was provided at certain areas which had water flowing. Young Hannah Anthony and Huey Anne pulled through nicely while Joshua and Sherlyn were a little left behind.

          Indeed we were blessed to have a safe journey back to the bottom. Christ has given us the strength yet again to climb down Bukit Larut for it is written in Philippians 4:13, ‘I can do all this through Him who strengthens me.’ We gave thanks to Him for this wonderful time of worship and fellowship.

AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR (NUMBERS IN AN OLD PHOTOGRAPH)

Question : 2005 SPM English Paper 1 (Continuous Writing)

AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR (NUMBERS IN AN OLD PHOTOGRAPH) 

          The clock on the wall showed the time of a quarter to six in the evening. I was having my tea with Timothy, my old colleague for the past eleven years. I kept my elbow on the table with my hand holding my chin while I drifted into some deep thoughts. “Wake up short stuff! What are you thinking about this time?” asked Timothy with a grin on his face. “Nothing really. I was just thinking about some plans for the latest project. That’s all,” I answered straight forwardly. “Really now? I thought you were thinking about that favourite friend of yours. What is her name again?” replied Timothy with a sarcastic manner. “I think you know quite well that people like us don’t have time for...,” I answered incompletely due to an interruption.

          Apparently, there was a knock on the door that interrupted our conversation. I left the kitchen and headed for the door without any presentable attire as I just wore a pair shorts and a jersey. “That could be her,” stated Timothy. I smiled as a response and continued to grab the door knob. After opening the door, I felt as though my heart sank and I began to sweat due to nervousness. “You! What are you doing here?!” I asked myself with the look of increasing pressure on my face. “Hello Mr. Adam. I think you know who I am and I am here to discuss about that new nuclear power system you designed,” answered the unexpected visitor. Those words that came out of his mouth nearly made me faint as he was the government’s top officer in the power plant department. I realised that I probably made a huge mistake in that nuclear power system I designed.

           Immediately, I invited him into my apartment and I got dressed to look a little more formal. We continued to have our conversation at the dining table and I brought along my documents and presentations to be discussed. “Your design was missing a few numbers. The magnitude of the force used to break the atoms was strong, but the energy efficiency is not enough,” said the officer. I felt puzzled as I remembered that I used all the suitable and efficient technology to design my nuclear power system. “If the energy efficiency is not enough, I am afraid I have to close your nuclear power plant and replace it with another type of power plant,” stated the officer. He said that I had a month to settle this issue, and he left my apartment.

          For the next few weeks, Timothy and I burned the midnight oil researching for the solution to the problem. We looked back at our older blue prints to see whether there were any flaws in the previous designs. Next, we used some of those blueprints to check for certain specifications so that we could test them through some computer simulations. We had to carry out complex simulated dismantling of the parts of the earlier nuclear power plant designs through the computer simulations. This was followed by the process of replacing certain gears in the generators and changing the settings of the transformers to increase the voltage of electricity. However, as these steps were only mere simulations, the exact and accurate measurements can’t be obtained. Therefore, we could only test these upgraded designs based on theories and no real experiments could be done.

          After two long weeks of mind-twisting and patience-testing work, Timothy and I decided to have an online conference with the other mechanical engineers of other cities. We decided not to leave our apartment because we needed to make sure that our documents, presentations and blueprints are in safe hands. During the online conference, we discussed about the issue and the other engineers gave some suggestions to overcome it. They mentioned about using a specific set of measurements for the nuclear reactor’s main source of heat. This was when I remembered that I did write down the complete equation for the suitable production of heat in the nuclear reactor. I went to my bedroom, opened the drawer of my bedside table and I found the book that contained the equation. Unfortunately, it was missing a few numbers.

          It was the last Saturday of the month, I went to bed and at the same time, I prayed to God that I would be able to find out what were those missing numbers. Later that night, I had a dream of something I did in the past. The dream was about me hiding a strip of paper inside the frame of an old photograph. The next day, I walked out of bed to find that old photograph which served as a memento of me and that favourite friend of mine. That photograph brings back old memories, but then I remembered about the dream I had. I removed the frame and found the piece of paper which contained the numbers for the equation. With the numbers found, the equation was completed and the officer from the power plant department eventually approved my design of the nuclear power plant.

          “So you hid the numbers inside that old photograph of you and her?” questioned Timothy. “Yes, apparently I did,” I answered Timothy. “I should have known this from the start. After all, it is a little obvious to me that you would hide something so precious inside something else that is precious as well,” said Timothy with a smile.

ONCE OLD FRIENDS, NOW FAMILY (THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND SMILED MEANINGFULLY)

Question : 2011 SPM English Paper 1 (Continuous Writing), Question No.4

ONCE OLD FRIENDS, NOW FAMILY

         Robert and Rebecca were initially very close friends ever since they were little kids. However, it was the destiny for both of them to become more than just friends, as they eventually became family. Their friendship began when they started their preschool education in the St  Andrew’s Kindergarten. When their preschool education ended, their friendship continued even when they went to separate schools as they attended the same church. By the time they reached the age of 16, they even attended the same tuition classes for subjects like Additional Mathematics, and Chemistry. Indeed their relationship was close and the broad smiles of Robert and Rebecca were always seen whenever they saw each other. They were like birds of a feather.

          So much time passed since they first met, and their relationship was still as strong as how it was many years ago. Sometime after the SPM examinations ended, Robert and Rebecca, like any other teenager of their age, spent their holidays by doing the activities they could not do before. For Robert, he formed a band with some of his old classmates. Interestingly, Rebecca seemed to show a lot of support for Robert’s idea as she made her presence for any of his band’s performances. Robert was fascinated by Rebecca because he did not expect a girl to show interest for bands. On a certain occasion when Robert’s band performed for a birthday party, Robert grabbed his old electric guitar and sang the song ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams which amazed Rebecca for he had a very husky voice.

  

          “Hey Robert, may I ask you a question about your school?” asked a curious Rebecca. “Go on ahead,” answered Robert with a cheerful face. “Is it true your school accepts girls to study in the sixth form?” asked Rebecca. “Yes, that’s true,” replied Robert. “Great! See you there in a week,” Rebecca said quickly even before Robert could continue his sentence. It was that moment Robert realised she was really going to study in his school. The two years of form six for Robert and Rebecca were filled with ups and downs. Both students were very committed towards their subjects such as Biology and Chemistry. While Robert preferred dissecting rats and frogs, Rebecca was very fond of producing hydrogen gas from zinc and hydrochloric acid. Although they have slightly different interests, they still loved their studies in the classes of L6Sc2 and U6Sc2. 

          Surprisingly, Robert and Rebecca were enrolled into the same university by their parents. To Rebecca, the situation seemed like a coincidence but to Robert, it was more than that. They were the cream of the crop of their batch because of their useful combination of intelligence, patience, kindness and respect for others. Though they were extremely busy in university, they could still find some time to communicate, even if it was for only a mere few minutes. Their routines were filled with lectures, projects, and assignments with very little time for leisure activities. Robert and Rebecca not only cooperated well when carrying out simulated surgeries, but also showed a lot of care for each other. For Rebecca, she began to show some affection for Robert during these stressful years.

            After the long years of studying medicine, Robert and Rebecca finally earned their MBBS certificates. They were officially called doctors and their first work place was the Permaisuri Bainun Hospital. Patient after patient, surgery after surgery, and report after report, they managed to pull through them. They were as busy as bees, no time for long breaks, watching television and relaxing, as their lives were all about work. However, they were always happy with their jobs and showed very little dissapointment towards their careers. Staying positive was not a big problem for them. 

          A few months after they were transferred to this hospital, Robert secretly planned a dinner for himself and Rebecca. On a fine Saturday night, the two of them went to a fancy Italian restaurant for the special dinner. A violinist came to their table to play some soothing music while Robert thought of the right words to say to Rebecca. So, he stated that he was always thankful for the friendship he had with her, and that he was ready to make her his wife. Rebecca was in tears of joy to hear that from Robert. They looked at each other and smiled meaningfully. 

I don't always write love stories, but when I do, it's usually quite bad. So here's a song by guitarist Bryan Adams to cheer you up from feeling dull after reading it.

If you read the story, you could see that I mentioned the song's title in paragraph 2.